The first challenge we overcame together as a family was living out of boxes for 53 days. I am okay feeling cramped and uncomfortable for a spell. I once lived in a pantry during college. The dimensions of the pantry were approximately 5 feet by 9 feet. A friend built levels for me, like Cosmo Kramer’s vision for his apartment from the Seinfeld episode, The Pony Remark. The room was a real tight fit. I had a clearance of about 18 inches between my bed and the ceiling. I could hear squirrels, or perhaps it was rats, crawling about the ceiling and walls early in the mornings. They were my all-natural alarm clock. That pantry still felt more spacious than living at my in-laws with boxes piled floor to ceiling. Trying to move about in crowded spaces is the pits, especially for a no longer able-bodied person. It’s no wonder my average daily walking distance during that time dropped to about two miles.
At the beginning of August we visited Devil’s Lake and that’s when I really started challenging myself physically. When the pandemic began we figured our annual camping trip would have to be canceled, but Wisconsin don’t care. Originally, we planned on going to one of the coasts or Colorado. We made our campsite reservations back in May, thinking if we needed to back out, no big deal. We ended up going and believe it or not, tent living was a nice getaway from box living.
Camping during the pandemic was different. The bandanas our daughter designed for our vacation doubled as a mask this time and we used them just for that. This year’s theme she came up with was “Camp Covid.” We didn't mask up full-time, but some of the hiking trails are narrow and at the top of the bluffs things can get crowded. Most hikers were not wearing masks, but that didn't really concern me. What did, however, was the bathrooms at the campgrounds. If this virus is airborne (has that been confirmed yet?), I don't want to share a communal bathroom. Fortunately for me, I used the handicap accessible restroom with a shower. This made me feel a little safer from the virus. Now, I know I look normal and you'd think nothing is wrong with me if you didn't know me, so every time I would exit the restroom I did so very slowly, half-expecting a line of wheelchair-bound persons outside the door just waiting to use the special bathroom and then I'd feel real shitty. Or I imagined Tonya Harding's ex-husband lurking in the shadows waiting to take my knees out like he did to Nancy Kerrigan in 1994 as retribution, since it appears that I don't have any special needs.
There was only one time that the private bathroom was in use and I had to use the 'commoners' bathroom. You better believe I wore a mask. While in that bathroom I noticed someone had scratched "Fuck Obama" into a dispenser. You could tell that the bathroom had been painted and remodeled within a year (we go to Devil's Lake that often). It's weird thinking that someone feels that much animosity toward our forty-fourth president and here I am at Camp Covid wearing a mask to protect myself from a goddamn potentially deadly virus that could have been contained if we actually had better leadership. Christ, this country and the people that live here.
In the end, I personally hiked an average of four miles a day and climbed 75 floors. I am very proud of that accomplishment, considering I didn't use a cane and I still have foot drop.
Two days after our trip up north, my wife and I went to donate blood. It's something I do because had others not donated blood when my accident happened, then I wouldn't be here today. I had 3+ transfusions after that accident. That's a lot of blood, man. Also, the American Red Cross now tests for COVID-19 antibodies. I suspected that I may have had the virus since I came down with something over the winter. I didn't think it was the flu because I get a flu shot every year, not only to protect myself, but because the Jewels gives you a 10% off coupon when you get vaccinated at their pharmacy. Anyhow, when we entered the donation site together, my wife was booted for having a temperature of 99.7 for precautionary reasons, but they let me donate. I found that baffling. I mean, we live together. If she's got the COVID, then so would I, but whatever. I filled the bag that held my unit of blood in 4:44. Even the phlebotomist was impressed. I said it's because I can fist pump harder than the Jersey Shore bros. My antibody test came back negative in the end.
