Letting the Days Go By (Same as it Ever Was)

That's no moon... it's a spiky ball used for desensitization of the nerves located on the bottom of my right foot.

I haven't updated lately because I've been focused on my physical well-being and I've neglected this exercise of writing which has been good for my brain in the past and I need to get back to it. I'm nearing completion of my prescribed physical therapy. I enjoy completion and find a sense of peace when a task has reached its end. However, every time I arrive at therapy and I'm asked how I am doing, I feel I'm letting down the therapists and myself because I always answer, "the same." I almost want to lie and say I'm doing better than ever and everything is great just so I could bring happiness to the faces of the therapists that I work with instead of that, 'I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed in you' look that I'm greeted with when I'm being honest.

I have been subjected to a barrage of new exercises/stretches with the goal of improved mobility. I asked my therapists to do whatever it takes and that I'm willing to beat the hell out of myself for this want need of mine. I've begun BioStim and Astym, or A-Stim, therapy. XXX INSERT UNCOMFORTABLE BAD JOKE HERE XXX. One improvement I've noticed is the sensitivity in the nerves located in the bottom of my foot, which is a big deal because the less you can make it feel like you are walking barefoot on glass, the better. I have been given a home exercise program, too. One of the exercises is called "Toe Yoga." I was thinking about using a Sharpie to draw a smiley face on my big toe with a laurel wreath on top and then take a Kleenex to wrap around said toe and call the post 'ToeYoga, ToeYoga, ToeYoga!' but that would be too Rex Ryan foot-fetish weird.

Another improvement I can quantify using my phone as an indicator, is my tolerance for walking. While I still walk impeded, I can go much further for longer now. This week my phone says I'm averaging 3.5 miles/day which is great considering I trimmed my big toe's nail way too short that'd it hurt on a normal foot, let alone on my jacked foot. So I suppose there has been improvement. I guess I don't want to continue taking baby steps and after three years I was hoping to reach the moon by now.

Counterpoint, sleeping is not improving. Another benefit of walking more that I was looking forward to was sleeping more. It's not happening. I no longer take any medications at all. Not even melatonin. I have no trouble falling asleep, but come 4 A.M. I'm on like someone flipped a switch. Most days I'm in a daze and no matter how much energy I exert I'm not worn out. Maybe it's the battery pack powering me like the Energizer Bunny? Kidding aside, I'm worried this has to do with that traumatic brain injury and that really scares me.