This is a prescription drug drop receptacle at Rush University Medical Center. Marijuana is a Schedule I substance and, to my dismay, I have learned that it won’t be accepted here. Please contact me if you can help me dispose a few ounces of expired weed.
Yesterday we headed back downtown to Rush for my sacroiliac joint injection to help alleviate my lower back pain. (This is another pain issue that resulted from the accident I was in, but is not quite associated with my CRPS.) Traffic was not too bad this time, only an hour and forty minutes. WINNING. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be funny, this was an improvement.
Upon arrival, I checked in and waited with my wife. The waiting room was empty so instead of people watching, I pulled up Wordle. I hate admitting I play Wordle, for the simple fact that I very much dislike when people share their Wordle results on social media. However, this is what I did to pass the time and to calm my nerves. Yes, I’ve had many blood draws, injections, and surgeries, but I still get anxious. I tried to focus on my task, but simply couldn’t. And after 47 successful Wordle solutions in-a-row, I failed for the first time ever. Sorry, I just felt that needed to be shared and now you know. Before I could let that sink-in and have a sky-is-falling moment, I was called back, said goodbye to my wife and was put behind a fabric curtain where I was ordered to strip down naked, put a gown on and a free pair of non-slip socks.
Now, I was in the pre-op room waiting on my very own hospital bed. I quickly grew tired of my roommate’s disturbing bodily noises, so I got my phone out to distract me. There are signs everywhere prohibiting cellular phone usage, but I’d done this before and I began to stare at my phone screen like a Project X monkey. After a while, a nurse asked me if I had anything to eat after midnight. I think this stems from an irrational fear that you’re going to transform into a gremlin. I hadn’t, so she continued her questioning. Next, she asked if I have ever had surgery and quickly she gathered that this wasn’t my first rodeo and she dispensed with the pleasantries. Soon she aggressively tied a stretchy band around my arm like a heroin addict and put a needle in the back of my hand. I asked her if I was going to be put under for the injection. She told me I’d be put into a twilight state. Yes! Challenge accepted. I always try to remember as much as I can when they begin the anesthesia. I love it. As I was administered my cocktail, which the anesthesiologist called “the good stuff,” I began paying attention to everything around me. I watched a very white doctor tell two of his colleagues that he was here today to observe in the OR and then proceeded to give the lamest handshake that included a fist bump and ended with a snap of the fingers. This got me thinking about Avengers: Endgame and how I could probably handle the infinity gauntlet because I’ve been bombarded by so much radiation from all my x-rays and was about to get some more in just a few minutes…
From my snoot to my spur
I'm a furry fella 🎶
“Welcome back,” greeted my nurse and just like that I had returned. I was given a bottle of apple juice and a bag of graham crackers and was told that if I felt fine I could go, so I did. I wasn’t fine. Far from it. I was stumbling around like I had just shut down the bar and someone told me that I didn’t have to go home but I couldn’t stay here. I even stopped to weigh myself on a scale while I made my way out. I entered the empty waiting room and wondered how I got there. Then I remembered they sent my wife away to wait in the cafeteria so I texted her I was done. I looked down at my hands and saw I was clutching paperwork and recalled I was told to make another appointment a month from now for a second injection, so I moseyed on over to another window and scheduled it all by myself like a big boy. As I was finishing, my wife arrived and escorted me to our car. On the way home we stopped for burritos and I was happy.
Later that evening my pain medication began to wear off and it started to hurt where they injected the anti-inflammatory concoction. I took it easy on the sofa and fell asleep early. In the morning I awoke and very gingerly got out of bed. I noticed my lower back pain had lessened, which was the goal but I am still being very cautious. Hopefully this pain has been remedied, but if not, round two is coming soon. Until next time, I bid you adieu.
